EDITOR NOTE: Charli asked to be addressed as "she" throughout the entire piece.
When Charli Darling, who lives in Manchester, United Kingdom, turned 13, she knew she was different from everyone else. Although she was born with male genitalia and being raised as a boy named Charles, she started growing breasts during puberty
My breasts were tender soft and felt like I had a stone inside of them that was very, very painful," Charli remembered. "I was absolutely baffled by the whole breast growth. Despite this, my mom would say to me I was growing up to be a young man. I don't think my mom realized completely what was happening to me, but I don't believe she ignored it either."
Soon, Charli's hips began to grow wider too, and her stomach narrowed at the waist. At the same time, she started to feel more comfortable dressing as a woman. Worried her family wouldn't accept her, she hid her "secret" under baggy clothes for most of her teenage years, and would leave the house dressed as a boy, but change into "girl clothes" in the bathroom at her local train station. On the outside, Charli tried to smile and be happy, but on the inside she says she felt broken and alone
I was confused, lonely as I couldn't tell anyone about my body developing differently," Charli said. "All I wanted was to be normal...I didn't want to feel like a freak."
As Charli got older she still wasn't "becoming a man," which eventually led her to approach her mom and ask that she be taken to a doctor. After several trips to the hospital and countless blood tests and x-rays, doctors revealed that 18-year-old Charli had KLINEFELTER SYNDROME, a rare condition in which males are born with an extra female chromosome.
but Klinefelter syndrome affects approximately 1 in 500 to 1,000 newborn boys, and can cause many to have delayed puberty, grow longer legs and broader hips, and develop small genitals. Hormone imbalances can also cause breast tissue to swell, which was the case for Charli.
Shocked at the diagnosis, Charli's family encouraged her to get breast reduction surgery to try to get rid of the breast tissue. Even though Charli would have much rather embraced her breasts, she reluctantly underwent the operation at 21 years old to try to make her family happy.
"If I did not go through with surgery the rest of my family and friends would never accept me," Charli said. "I knew I was already different but was very confused and could not understand why all this was happening to me. I just wanted their acceptance."
But Charli's breast tissue slowly began to grow back months later. While doctors cite multiple reasons why breast tissue from Klinefelter syndrome can be hard to get rid of permanently, Dr. Ilene Fennoy, MD, says it could be due to the size of Charli's breasts.
"A part of me had been taken away from me. I was traumatized and unable to do anything about it," Charli said of her emotions after surgery. "I cried almost every day but never let anyone see the pain and heartache I was going through."
Because of her decision to live her life as Charli instead of Charles, she moved out of her parents' home and in with her best friend where she lived for several years. As she got older, she made more and more friends and realized that there were people who loved and accepted her. Now, at 38, she has become more comfortable in her own skin because of the strong support system she has to lean on.
I have the unconditional love and support from my friends who encouraged me and told me never ever to feel alone," said Charli. "My best friends are my world, and I couldn't live without them."
Later this year, Charli is planning on competing in the Miss Transgender UK beauty pageant in London and hopes that her story will help raise awareness about Klinefelter syndrome and inspire people everywhere to embrace their differences.
"Be strong and remember you may be different from the rest, but at the end of the day, we are all human and are given our lives for a reason," Charli said.
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